humOUR

The picture of the first dog depicts a scene of today before the salary, while the second picture shows tomorrow after the salary, but it still remains............A DOG. Ha!!

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Once two men sat in a bar drinking. The first one said to the other ,"I have a hell lot of family problems." The second one said, "I'll tell you mine. I married an old widow having a young daughter. My father married my daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson. And you say you have family problems!!

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One day Lord Shiva decided to visit the earth and try some alcohol. So he changed his get-up and went to a bar in Delhi and asked the bartender: "What all do u have"? Bartender: "We have whisky, rum, vodka, gin, beer etc etc.” Lord Shiva: "Let's try whisky first; give me 5 bottles of whisky". After having 5 bottles of whisky, Lord Shiva decided to try Rum. Bartender was shocked: "Who is this man, after having 5 bottles of whisky, he is still on his feet and wants rum!!". After having 5 bottles of Rum, Shiva decided to have beer. After having 40 bottles of beer, he asked the bartender for Gin. Bartender couldn't stop himself asking him: “Sir, who are you?? I’ve seen people getting drunk after having 4 glasses of whisky, and you've almost had 50 bottles and you are still on your feet, who are you???” Lord Shiva : "VATS, Hum Bhagwaan Shiv hain". Bartender : AB CHADHI ISKO!!!

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Life After Death

BOSS said to an employee: "Do you believe in life after Death?" EMPLOYEE: "Certainly not! There's no proof of it", he replied. BOSS: "Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your friend's funeral, “He came here looking for you " .....................!!!!!!

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HR STRATEGIES

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," said the woman. "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in." "Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman "Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her. "So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell." So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. "I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable." The Devil looked sheepishly at her, smiled and told... ... ... ... "Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee"