Godfather's Lawyer ( Joke )

A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn't know what you are talking about." The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it at the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again, where is my damn money!" The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!" The Godfather says, "Well....what did he say?" The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says...go to hell.....that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

Humor Specials

The success of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens,we have to keep going back and begin all over again. [1] No Love Bite A couple who'd been married for over 50 years was sitting on the sofa, when the wife said, "Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me?" He moved over and sat close to her."Dear," she continued, "do you remember how you used to hold me tight?" He reached over and held her tight."And," she went on, "do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and nibble on my ear?"With that, her husband got up and started to walk out of the room."Where are you going?" she asked."Well," answered the husband, "I have to get my teeth." [2] Travel Special A travel agent offered me a 21 day special.He told me I would fly from New York to London.Then from Tokyo back to New York.I asked him. "How am I supposed to get from London to Tokyo?"He told me "That is why we give you 21 days." [3] Return of Wife A man talking to his friend about what to do for his 50th wedding anniversary. The friend asked, "What did you do for your 25th?"He said, "I took my wife to Hawaii."The friend then asked, "What are you thinking about for your 50th?" He said, "Well I was thinking of bringing her back." [4] Engineers What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?Mechanical engineers build weapons.Civil engineers build targets. [5] Call Back Later A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit.She instructed her son - to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at site.After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that it was a lady that picked up daddy's phone all the 3 times he tried reaching dad on the mobile. (Women!!)She waited impatiently for her husband to return from site immediately. When at last she sighted him, she gave him a very tight slap, while the man was trying to ask why?She repeated the slap, people from neighborhood rushed around to know the cause of this.The man asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him, when he called. Junior said "The number you are trying to call is not reachable at the moment. Please, Try Again Later". [6] Wish Comes True A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!”

humOUR

The picture of the first dog depicts a scene of today before the salary, while the second picture shows tomorrow after the salary, but it still remains............A DOG. Ha!!

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Once two men sat in a bar drinking. The first one said to the other ,"I have a hell lot of family problems." The second one said, "I'll tell you mine. I married an old widow having a young daughter. My father married my daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson. And you say you have family problems!!

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One day Lord Shiva decided to visit the earth and try some alcohol. So he changed his get-up and went to a bar in Delhi and asked the bartender: "What all do u have"? Bartender: "We have whisky, rum, vodka, gin, beer etc etc.” Lord Shiva: "Let's try whisky first; give me 5 bottles of whisky". After having 5 bottles of whisky, Lord Shiva decided to try Rum. Bartender was shocked: "Who is this man, after having 5 bottles of whisky, he is still on his feet and wants rum!!". After having 5 bottles of Rum, Shiva decided to have beer. After having 40 bottles of beer, he asked the bartender for Gin. Bartender couldn't stop himself asking him: “Sir, who are you?? I’ve seen people getting drunk after having 4 glasses of whisky, and you've almost had 50 bottles and you are still on your feet, who are you???” Lord Shiva : "VATS, Hum Bhagwaan Shiv hain". Bartender : AB CHADHI ISKO!!!

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Life After Death

BOSS said to an employee: "Do you believe in life after Death?" EMPLOYEE: "Certainly not! There's no proof of it", he replied. BOSS: "Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your friend's funeral, “He came here looking for you " .....................!!!!!!

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HR STRATEGIES

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," said the woman. "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in." "Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman "Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her. "So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell." So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. "I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable." The Devil looked sheepishly at her, smiled and told... ... ... ... "Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee"

Three Short Jokes

This is life.....and people

A guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he

put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying, "Free to good home.

You want it, you take it." For three days, the fridge sat there without even

one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were

skeptical about such a good deal, so he changed the sign to read, "Fridge for sale, $50."

The next day, someone stole it.

Lets Find out Way A couple were returning to their seats in the dark theater.

The husband asked the fellow on the aisle, "Did someone step on your foot on the way out for intermission?"

"Yes, you did," the fellow replied, expecting an apology.

"Okay honey," the husband said.” This is our row."

Deceived

A married man was visiting his girlfriend one day, when she requested that he shave his beard.

"Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!"

"Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again in a sexy little voice.

"Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!"

The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed and finally gave in.

That night, James crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping..

The wife woke up somewhat, felt his face, and replied "Oh, Michael, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"

SuM mOre NeT FuN

Well continuing with my fun series. Kya karen, therez so much violence, indifference, struggle, anger, rage and all the negative things are there in day today lives, thats why it becomes more important for us to get sum supplement of our daily humour from here->http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-weOfI.Mwda_m8i1t3xX8Pn0u?p=5 . There are these funny links, just try them out. More of a kidstuff, but then there's always a child in us. http://www.counterfeitmini.com/main.swf Dont slap the guy too much, ur mouse may break. http://dura.cell.free.fr/home/swf/arms12.swf Have sum catching practice like the one u had while playing cricket in school. These two have already featured in my blogs earlier but nevertheless, since we are at it, here is on more time. http://www.magnecote.com/attractive/ Dont be too indecent with the lady, she will report!!! http://digicc.com/fido/ Sum Mathemagical Fun with Fido.

Charmed Forces of India

The success of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens, we've to keep going back and begin all over again. But here I'm not going to hide anything. I want to present u with a light hearted article by Jug Suraiya[ Sunday, June 04, 2006 TIMES NEWS NETWORK ] http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1612037.cms in his weekly Sunday column "Jugular Vein".